I am leaving my house: The future awaits me.

There are many young people who are not yet of legal age, and for some reason want to flee their homes. What are the reasons that drive these young people to leave the comfort  of their home?

A minor who runs away from home is a tragedy for his family. And also for himself. The problems that can initiate this behavior are very diverse. But we will see that the solutions are always in the family. Talking and raising issues that prevent peaceful coexistence with parents is a good start.

Running away from home is a serious problem. According to the National Runaway Switchboard, an organization that takes calls and helps children who have run away from home or plan to do so, 1 in 7 children ages 10 to 18 will run away from home at some point. And there are between 1 and 3 million cases of children escaping and living on the streets of the United States.

Why do children run away from home?

Do you remember how you felt the last time you argued with your parents or siblings? That kind of anger and harm can be what leads a person to run away from home.

In fact, most children run away due to family problems. Some do so in the wake of some terrible fight, others even decide to escape without even a fight. Maybe they did something they are ashamed of and are afraid to tell their parents.

There are other reasons why children run away from home, for example, the following:

1. Abuse (domestic violence)

2. Separation or divorce from parents, or the arrival of a stepfather / stepmother

3. Death of a family member

4. Birth of a baby in the family

5. Economic problems in the family

6. Alcohol or drug use by children or their parents

7. Problems at school

8. Peer pressure

9. Poor results in school or dropping out of school

Many children and adolescents have these problems and there are different ways of coping with them to escape. Children who think about running away may not know how to solve a complicated problem or there are no adults who can help them. Sometimes running away may seem like the only option to solve a truly big problem.

Unfortunately, the problems that children hope to solve by running away from home are replaced by others, sometimes larger, related to life on the streets.

The reality of running away from home.

When you think of running away, you probably imagine that there will be no more rules, fights, or parents telling you what to do. Sounds cool and exciting, right?

In real life, running away from home is anything but fun. Children and adolescents who run away from home face new problems such as not having money, food, a safe place to sleep or someone to take care of them.

People who are homeless and without money fall into a state of despair that leads them to do whatever it takes to meet their basic needs. For this reason, they are often involved in dangerous situations that could scare them, even in the case of adults. Children who run away from home engage in dangerous criminal activities more frequently than those who live in their homes.

Often, children living on the streets must steal to meet their basic needs. Many use drugs or alcohol to get through the day because they become depressed and feel that no one cares about them. Some are forced to do things that they would not normally do to get money. Likewise, the number of children with HIV or AIDS and other illnesses is higher on the streets, since they usually use intravenous drugs or have unprotected sex (often in exchange for money).

How to prevent a child from running away from home

Let's face it: stress is part of life, even for children, but if children can tackle problems with confidence, hope, and practical solutions, they are less likely to think of running away.

To build problem solving skills, try the following:

a. Know your emotions. Try to understand what you feel internally and describe it.

b. Express your emotions. Don't be afraid to tell those close to you how you feel and why. Use words, not actions. This especially applies to the case of anger. Anger is one of the most difficult emotions to control because it is so intense; however, we must all learn how to express feelings of anger without resorting to violence.

c. Learn how to calm down when you get angry. You may need to go out, listen to music, draw or write poetry. Do safe things that make you feel better.

d. When you have a problem, try to make a list of solutions. Ask someone else for help if you can't think of at least three ways to proceed. For each possible solution, ask yourself the following: "If I do this, what will happen next?"

e. Ask a trusted adult, such as your father, mother, relative, teacher, or neighbor, for help. She knows who you count on for support and help.

If you are considering the idea of ​​running away from home

Perhaps you feel that there is no way to solve the problems that make you consider the idea of ​​escaping from your home. If you can, tell your mom or dad how you feel. They need to know that you are upset or that you are afraid that they do not love you or do not want you to be with them. It may be possible to work together as a family to make things change for the better. Sometimes consulting a counselor with your family can be helpful.

If the problem is as serious as the abuse and involves a parent, then talk to a school teacher or counselor, to the parent of a close friend, relative, or to any other adult you trust. Let that person help you find a safe place where you can stay. It may be difficult to share this secret because you feel embarrassed or fear that someone will get into trouble, but remember that abuse is never your fault.

You can also call the National Runaway Switchboard, (800) 621-4000. It is open 24 hours a day and the call is free. Switchboard operators receive thousands of calls per year, many of them from children who have escaped or who know of someone who has.

If your friend wants to run away from home

If a friend is considering escaping, warn them how difficult it can be to survive on the streets. Your friend may be scared and confused. Try to support him and help him not feel so alone.

Tell him that regardless of the problem, there are always other ways to deal with it, even if none of you can think of any right now. An adult will know how to help.

It takes courage to tell an adult that a friend is about to run away from home, but try to do it as soon as possible. Being a true friend does not mean keeping a secret that can hurt someone. It means doing what is best for your friend. And escaping is not the solution for either of you. It only creates more problems and dangers.

Thanks to: Steven Dowshen, MD

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